The world of dating can be a harsh and horrible place. When a man approaches a woman there are two ways which he can go, the normal “hello, how are you?” or to try and think of a witty chat up line that will whisk her off her feet. Rarely do chat up lines work though and to be honest many are cheesy and in many ways offensive. Men still persist though and just the other day one of the London escorts from Carmens Secrets was telling me how she was approached in the street for directions only to be followed up with “to your heart”, nice try but a fail. I started wondering what the worst ones ever heard might be and as well as the classics as falling from heaven it seems that there are some truly inventive ones floating around.
5. Excuse me you dropped something.
This is all about the art of misdirection. You gain the attention of your intended girl but then when there is nothing on the floor that she has dropped you pass her your number on a piece of paper and this is meant to make her think you are charming and funny. Somehow it does not seem to work and the man is left feeling dejected and alone.
4. You must be tired.
This is then followed up by the line “because you have been running through my mind all day!”. A classic in the modern era of chat up lines. Many a school boy has been told that this is the key to a woman’s heart and many times they have been left to learn the opposite. It is cheesy, embarrassing and will not work, exactly what we are looking for on this list.
3.I may not be Fred Flinstone but I will make your bed rock.
This is much more on the crude side. It does not work on so many levels but more than just being offensive it insinuates that the girl you want to chat up will go straight to bed with you. Much more than interrupting them and trying to take them out you are actually now just calling the girls easy!
2. Do you believe in Love at first sight?
This is another two part question and answer as it is followed up with “or shall I walk past again?”. To be honest this is not as cheesy or crude as ones we have seen before but just the general cliché of it means it merits the position on the list. Every girl will be familiar with this and probably blatantly laugh if you were to approach them in a bar and use it. Still you could get brownie points for being a little quirky? Maybe?
1. Does this smell like chloroform to you?
Erm.. really? This is kind of a scary one. The best first impression is probably not to insinuate that you are thinking of drugging and raping them. If this has ever worked then please let me know. I’m kind of hoping it has for the geeky college guys everywhere but really it is quite a sick way of starting off a romantic encounter.
While doing research for this article I did however come across one of my new favourites in the chat up line world. It goes:
Man: “Ten Ton Polar Bear”,
Man: “Well it breaks the ice”.
It’s a winner.